Lycos Online Chat –Β October 31st, 2001

Events_Moderator: Howdy, folks! For those of you just joining us, tonight we are chatting with comedian Greg Proops. You might remember him from the improv show “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”. Now Greg is the co-host of the new dating show, Rendez-View. Get your questions ready. We’ll be staring in just a few minutes!

Events_Moderator: OK everyone, here we go! Let’s welcome Greg to this live event. Hi Greg, welcome to Lycos Live Events! What’s up?

Greg_Proops: Happy Halloween, you little ghouls!

wakka2: Is Greg aware that his show is sponsored by 1-800 contacts? And if so, does he see the irony?

Greg_Proops: I try not to watch the odds. πŸ˜‰ But I suggest that you do and I’m always of a mind that TV is not a place to look for irony!

megregproops: Did you always want to host a dating show, or is it an opportunity that just came up and you decided to take it?

Greg_Proops: When I was a young boy growing up in the wheat fields of San Carlos, CA. I never imagined that I would one day be a superhero fighting crime.

felt_mouse: Do you write your own jokes, or do you have writers?

Greg_Proops: In my standup, my wife and I write the jokes. On Rendez-view we have writers. But I’d like to remind all of you that I’m funnier than all of them. No really, I am! πŸ˜‰

mystic_ocelot0: Since I live in Canada, I don’t get your new show, which I think isn’t fair! I just wanted to know how Rendez-View is going?

Greg_Proops: Sorry, I can’t make you out from here. I think there is a moose blocking you.

Whtesde: Did you have any bad dates in your unmarried days? And what is your middle name?

Greg_Proops: Dear whtesde: Stop stalking me. And ‘fun’ is my middle name.

gregsocelot: Are you looking forward to doing The Weakest Link?

Greg_Proops: I shall lay waste, for I am Lord of the Ring!

michelle1234_1: Do you prefer peanuts or cashew nuts?

Greg_Proops: Oh, this is the hardest question I’ve ever had to face in my life! Insiders will know that I love peanuts. But deep insiders will know I want to marry cashews! Good question.

whotookthenamemegs: Are you wearing a costume right now?

Greg_Proops: Yes. I’m dressed as Christopher Lee in Dracula Rises. Bleh!

pip_52: What is your favorite thing to do when you have the opportunity to do anything you want?

Greg_Proops: Part of my duties includes patrolling the galaxy, protecting truth, and serving justice. I enjoy terrace farming, spelunking, and making special desserts. Also, I’m a novice on the ocarina.

Everettsdramaqueen: How did you get started in comedy? Could you explain where you first gig was? And how did you find your way to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Greg_Proops: I was born in a trunk in Pittsfield, WV. My mother and father have a trained seal act. I started out as a herring carrier. My first gig was in front of the 7th Armored Division during the Korean War. Turn left at “The Practice”… that’s how I found my way.

necromancergnome: Do you know if you’ll be doing any stand up in Orlando, Florida?

Greg_Proops: Hehehe… it’s hard to tell. I was booked at the Venezuelan Pavilion at Epcot, but my vicuna, Eric, got dengue fever. You see I couldn’t perform in Orlando because my vicuna got sick. Why would I go to Orlando? I’m an adult.

wakka2: Are you going to put out a new comedy album soon? It’d be great for your obsessive fans.

Greg_Proops: The best I can do is invite you to drop a dime on me at That’s as close to newest/latest as I can do right now. πŸ˜‰ But never rule it out, and never eat at a place called Nicks.

sweetnspeccy: How does it feel to know that ladies all around are swooning over you? What do you think it is about you we all love most?

Greg_Proops: It’s extraordinarily difficult when you are as physically attractive as I am to deal with the sheer responsibility of your beauty. I lie on my bed of cucumbers with moistened violets on my eyes to take down the puffiness of strenuous days of slinging jokes. Because I’m full on and I stand for all y’all.

Gruvefunkistan: Mr. Proops, sir… I’m not worthy… What is your favorite Hagen Daaz flavor?

Greg_Proops: Please rise. Of course you are worthy. I’ve been to Gruvefunkistan, and been inside its borders. I was not only welcomed, I was overwhelmed by how at home I had grown to feel. Licorice ocelot, menthol ulalaberry, ripple or rum raisin with chocolate jimmies.

kalipso15: What is your favorite game to perform on Whose Line?

Greg_Proops: The snuggle dance. πŸ˜‰ We do it when the cameras are off.

Greg_Proopswakka2: What is your favorite cocktail?

Greg_Proops: Hmm… interesting. Cosmopolitan or Margarita, mixed, not blended.

dorakrisp: What things make you laugh? (And you have a marvelous laugh, BTW.)

Greg_Proops: My wife… πŸ˜‰ Absolutely Fabulous. Space Ghost. Paul F. Thompkins. Dave Chapelle. The Comedy Story Players. And of course, all the kids at the “Whose Line” Honeycomb hideout. πŸ˜‰

nasajess: You’ve mentioned that your wife is a large source of inspiration for you. If I may ask, what is she like and how did you meet?

Greg_Proops: She’s fabulous! And no, you may not ask. πŸ˜‰

Whotookthenamemegs: Does it annoy you that when you ask Ellen a question, she replies to the guests instead of you?

Greg_Proops: LOL… No, I haven’t noticed it. To me, it’s a free-for-all and any coherence is an accident.

Events_Moderator: I hate to say it, but we have to wrap this up in a few minutes. We’ll take just a few more questions and comments.

whtesde: When you first started doing standup, what kind of material did you do, and how did it change over the years?

Greg_Proops: I started out doing poorly written material that I thought of, and over the years the writing hasn’t improved, but my confidence has. I started doing standup in the early 20’s… the Great War just ended and we were still aways from ‘talking pictures’… I worked in Vaudeville as a drummer’s assistant. It was my job to hold the symbol on my head. Over the years, I have tried to reflect my feelings into my material. That’s been the biggest change. I mean it.

gruvefunkistan: At the risk of being exiled from this chat room, do you consider yourself a smartass? (Or a well educated donkey, whatever you please.)

Greg_Proops: LOL. You callin’ me a liar? Who you lookin at? How would you like to take it outside? You don’t want to step to me… ’till the day I DIE! More of a smartass, really.

whose_line: Are you still going to respond to fanmail after what’s been happening?

Greg_Proops: Sure, just don’t go nuts on me. And I mean that literally. To be honest, If you guys don’t mind waiting a while, I have to take a break from answering it. But only because of my time commitments. But I will try to answer all as usual.

lonewarrior4: Have you ever considered having your own comedy specials?

Greg_Proops: Have YOU ever considered doing better in your line of work? LOL

whtesde: Did you watch a lot of dating shows to prepare for the hosting gig?

Greg_Proops: No. I don’t watch a lot of dating shows to prepare for the hosting gig. I don’t want to taint the delicate palate that is the dating show format by introducing foreign concepts that might blur the type of good we are trying to do here. A dating show is a delicate thing. It’s like a Faberge egg. No one is going to let you touch it, and when they do, they are going to make you feel real guilty.

Whotookthenamemegs: Greg, are you the voice-over for the Enigma Greatest Hits CD commercial? It’s killing me not knowing.

Greg_Proops: LOL… that’s why it’s called “enigma”. If I told you, it would kill the suspense!

whose_line: I think the glasses you have now are the best you’ve ever had. What kind are they?

Greg_Proops: Ah, outstanding question, observant one, you are wise beyond your years. They are Paul Smith PS-234. But if I see any copykitten action I will thump mcbooty!

whtesde: What’s the best thing to say to you after a show?

Greg_Proops: Heheheh… Champagne, Ambassador?

megregproops: Who’s your favorite Beatle?

Greg_Proops: The forgotten one… Tony.

megregproops: Do you play any instruments and can I give you a big hug?

Greg_Proops: Dedicated followers will know that I studied for years to play the concert Glockenspiel, but an untimely accident in Leipzig took me out of the game. Now I quietly study viola and tend to my herb garden. I enjoyed writing mystery books for over 60 years and I intend on never stopping… as long as my health allows me to continue. And yes, you may hug symbolically. {{{{{}}}}}

pip_52: Can you give some advice to those of us who have given up on love altogether?

Greg_Proops: Oh, never give up… look to the stars my little pumpkin. There is always love… and you must persist in searching it out. Sometimes, people that you hate, you actually love, and the other way too. πŸ˜‰

miss_betz: Care to make a World Series prediction?

Greg_Proops: Arizona in 6.

sweet_saxxy_diva: What do you really think of Drew Carey?

Greg_Proops: Oh, I worship the man. He is the epitome of ease and class. I heard he killed a guy in a bar in New Mexico over a dancin’ lady named Lola. Or maybe I’m confusing him with this other guy I knew.

desertbunny99: What do you think about people finding their love on the Internet?

Greg_Proops: Dear Bunny, when are you going to update to 2001? There are desert bunnies that have been considerate enough to re-register and keep their bunny act current. I have to re-route your inquiry through the expired desert bunny bureaucracy and the department of expired desert bunnies doesn’t open till 8:30 AM EST.

proopsgirl160: What is your favorite alcohol drink?

Greg_Proops: Romulian Brandy… and what I like don’t come in a bottle, lady. πŸ˜‰

michelle1234_1: Do you ever just sit down and watch “Whose Line Is It, Anyway?” without saying, “Oh I would have done this or that,” etc.

Greg_Proops: Brad, Chip, Drew, Colin, Ryan, Wayne, Laura, Linda, Jeff, Cece, Kathy and I gather via picture phone from around the world and watch both episodes every Wednesday together. We then vote to eliminate one of our number if they are not funny enough.

Stridentpicnicr: Are there any questions that you feel are a tad bit redundant at times?

Greg_Proops: LOL… Like this one? No. Inquiring minds want to know. But sometimes inquiring minds don’t get to know.

Events_Moderator: Well folks, it’s time to wrap up the show. Thanks, Greg! We had a really good time chatting with you! We’ll have to do this again sometime. And on a personal note, thanks for staying the extra time. The fans and Lycos thank you! Have any final words of wisdom?

Greg_Proops: Remain calm. Try to look for the connecting tissue that puts us all together. Be patient. Try not to fly off the handle and respect each other. Thank you all.

Events_Moderator: Great questions, everyone. Ya’ll are the best! See ya next time at Lycos Live Events! Happy Halloween!

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