Yahoo! Online Chat – June, 1999

Welcome Greg, glad you could join us.

Greg: Greetings Ocelot people.

Hey Greg, how did you learn to improv so well?

      On my home planet of Krypton it was the national sport. Then right before the planet exploded when my father Ja-rel put me in the pod, he told me I could use my power for either good or evil. I have chosen Evil.

Do you consider yourself a comic genius?

      LOL!!!! No, no, no. I don’t fit the bill. But I will tell you who I consider comedic geniuses in order of ascending genius. Richard Pryor is the funniest stand up comedian ever. Then people in his ballpark are Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks, George Carlin, Lilly Tomlin. The funniest person of all time I think is Groucho Marks. Then Buster Keaton cannot be denied. There are so many. You know who they are. Paul Reiser – not a genius. Howie Mandel – not a genius. The reason I offer these up is that it is easy to see who is a genius and who isn’t. Because people who are geniuses can touch you intellectually, and they speak to the heart.

Robin Williams. Genius or no genius?

      Robin Williams – you’re confusing his bad movies with his actual comic vision. I dig Robin Williams. For me, the pure Robin Williams is the stand up. So if you’re bumming out at Father’s Day or Patch Adams, get the stand up, cuz he’s gorgeous. If you can see him live, that’s the best of all. He’s one of the most amazing performers you’ll ever see. He connects with people. They want him, and he wants them. I used to see him play little places with no one in them. Its like Springsteen or James Brown, that kind of connection with the crowd. Steve Martin is a terribly clever man, but not as warm as Robin. Neither is Jerry Seinfeld.

Greg, where do you get your groovy specs?

      In Beverley Hills. They are Athos 52 20’s. My Face a Face.

Hey Greg, what part did you play in Star Wars?

      I am Fode. I played one of the pod race announcers. The other one is played by my friend and fellow comedian, Scott Capurro.

Greg why are you so against contacts? Like I’d wear them or anything.

      Because you have to back up your frames, man. You have to decide who you are. Roy Orbison or George Bush or something. Don’t give me the wimpy frames that pretend they aren’t there. You have to go Michael Cain in the Ipcress File. Or Carey Grant when he was in his 70’s. You know what I’m saying, you a man or a mouse? Who are you feeling? Stand up and say it – I can’t see!

How do you come up with the ideas so fast for WLiiA?

      They are all prepared well in advance by a team of Belgium scientists working out of a small operation in the San Fernando Valley

Who was the first person that left you star struck?

      There’s a good question! The first person. I can think of a couple of notable ones I was star struck by. We were in London. McShane, my wife, and me waited outside Queens Theatre for Peter O’Toole. He came out, pretended to not notice us screaming, then sort of gave us a half salute once he was in his car. And it was like the Beatles. Also Tom Jones, because he is such a great singer. I met Paul McCartney once. He blew my mind. I was at the Premier for Wayne’s World 2 in London. My friend Neil Mullarkey was in a comedy team with Mike Myers. So we all got invited because of him. It was at the Hard Rock in London and they had vegetarian burgers. Chrissie Hynde was there and Linda was there, and Jerry Hall. Paul Merton started talking to Paul McCartney and then me and my friend Richard Vranch snoozled in and McCartney was inconceivably cool. Beyond cool.

What did you think of hosting ‘Hey Hey its Saturday’, in Australia? Would you come back for another Melbourne Comedy Festival?

      One, I loved it. It was totally weird. Two, I am making dark plans for sometime next year to get to Oz.

Are you gonna do some improv in E’Burgh in August?

      I might get to go over to the Guilded Balloon. And throw down with my friends, Steve Frost, Andy Smart, Sweeny and Steen. I will be performing improv on Saturday 21st because its Sweeny and Steen’s 100th anniversary in show business. And they are having a thing.

How often do scenes have to be cut from “WLiiA” because of bad taste or bad language?

      Every once in a while.

Do you miss Clive?

      In what sense? Physically yes. Intellectually, I continue to dominate him from afar. Emotionally he is my flannel teddy.

When did you start making fun of Clive, and does he mind?

      I was part of the team of scientists that grew Clive, and we were making fun of him when he was in vitro, because he knew how wack it would be.

Greg, I really enjoy your improvisation … and have watched WLiiA on Comedy Central … How did an American like you end up on a British show?

      I murdered a man in Uciah California and was sent on an exchange program for a ram raider from Scunthorpe.

What would you be doing if you weren’t a comedian?

      Baseball historian. If people want to ask a baseball question, I’ll be happy to answer.

Do you like Quebec and French people?

      I do. My wife and I went on honeymoon in Quebec. And I do like French people. I couldn’t eat a whole one.

How long have you been married? Do you have any kids?

      I’ve been married 10 years. And no kids.

Greg, if you could be in any movie ever made, which would it be and why?

      Wow, great question! I love so many movies. Like The Godfather, Casablanca, Wizard of Oz, 2001, Le Samurai, Yojimbo with Toshiro Mafune. But if I had to pick one picture, I would be in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I love that picture.

Greg, you are obviously well-read and highly intelligent. Where did you go to School?

      San Carlos High School.

Do you think you’re setting an example by having shows such as Hooter Girls VS Dykes on Bikes?

      No we are not. We are making a comedy show.

What do you think would be the perfect VS match up?

      I don’t know. I still need a good answer to that. I’m willing to entertain suggestions, but not all at once.

Do you have a deal with Hugo Boss? The suits are rather snazzy 🙂

      LOL! Someone made a deal with Hugo Boss and it worked out beautifully. And thank you. I strive to snazz.

What did it feel like to be part of the Star Wars legacy?

      I feel at once large like a Bantha and yet small like a Jawa.

What notes of advice would you give to someone who wishes to get into comedy or acting?

      Don’t take no. Practice.

What was the most interesting VS show you’ve had?

      Rastas vs Capitalists. The Rastas started slow. But the 2nd and 3rd round they got it on. The third round they really stepped up. The Capitalists didn’t know anything and they thought they were funny. And homey don’t play that.

If you could only take 3 things on a desert island, what would they be?

      My wife. The baseball encyclopedia. (which can also double as furniture too, see how it works). And I don’t know – Matches?

What do you do for enjoyment?

      I go on vacations with my wife.

Which was better? WLiiA in the UK or US?

      They are both good. They’re both just different. Try not to be too harsh. And make a hasty value judgment.

I am a great fan of Tony Slattery in the British WLiiA?. What was he like?

      I, too, worship Tony Slattery. He is an erudite and overwhelming charming individual. He is performing improv at Glastonbury Festival this weekend.

If not for your problems with the home office, do you think you’d still be in the UK?

      Those problems stern from the accidental death of a patron at the Three Legged Dog in Preston. I am forbidden to do stand up in the Benelux nations or perform with a woodwind in any Alpine country. As for England, sorry I’ve forgotten the question. Oh, now I remember, I’ll be in Edinburgh this August.

Is the new Whose Line show rigged, because it seems a bit convenient, on some of the skits which are quite similar to the British version.

      Yes the show is completely rigged, and generous cash prizes are given out to various covert operations to keep it quiet. I know your user address. Watch the sky.

Do you like working with Drew Carey?

      Yes, he is fantastic. He is totally, totally cool.

Any word as to whether VS will be aired in Canada?

      I don’t know. Call Comedy Central and make some demands.

Are you the real Greg Proops?

      Yes I am. No wait… yeah, I am.

How do we know you’re the real you?

      And how do I know you are who you purport to be? You’ll have to trust me.

Mr. Proops, if you could book anyone you wanted for one show of VS, who would you book?

      Wow, there’s a really good one. The Beatles isn’t a bad call is it? I don’t know… Willie Mays, Steve Young, Will Russell, Mohammed Ali, Trigger, Giants.

What’s your favourite baseball team?

      Giants.

Who’s the “real” winner of last years home run derby … Mark or Sammy?

      Good question. I think they both benefited greatly. I think Sammy got more in a way because that season put him on the map. Whereas Maguire was fairly, you know, if anyone was going to do it, it might have been him. Its difficult to explain. I think the fact that he did it like that, was staggering. I am still staggered, he really crushed the record. And to do that in baseball is really hard.

I haven’t seen Episode 1 or VS. Who do you play in Ep 1 and do you recommend me seeing it?

      I play Jar-Jar Binks. And no.

How difficult is it being a sex symbol?

      Its traumatic. The demands are non stop. The pressure is terrific. An some nights I barely have a half hour for a milk bath.

Ever thought of becoming a professional newscaster?

      Yes. And I am Bolivia’s top anchor.

Do you watch your own shows?

      High.

You’ve got the best official fan page that I have seen in some time… who did it for you?

      Vanessa has done a fantastic job. And I agree I think the site looks cool. Its allowed me to reach out to both the young and old, the firm and afflicted, and trap them in the amber of my mirth.

So what’s up next for you? What’s next on the schedule?

      I will be in Edinburgh Scotland at the Assembly Room August 6 through 19. Doing stand up. I will be in San Francisco September 9 thru 12 at Cobbs. VS is shown incessantly, watch at your own risk.

Greg thanks for joining us tonight. Good luck in Edinburgh and beyond. Please come back and chat with us again.

      Thanks you guys. I had a lot of fun. Word up to the Whosers! And don’t let the man get you down.

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